What's that about sliced bread?

Flush what down your toilet?
By Gregg Drinnan
August 30, 2015 6:05 P.M.
Larry King has a question regarding sliced bread.

Mercedes-Benz has purchased naming rights to the facility in Atlanta that is to be the new home of the NFL’s Falcons. It’s a 27-year deal said to be worth US$12 million a year. . . . That is believed to be a bit more than the City of Kamloops got from the Sandman Hotel Group for the naming rights to what was Interior Savings Centre, but as of Tuesday will be The Sandman Centre. Terms of that deal have yet to be released. . . . When the Los Angeles Dodgers are at home, the great Vin Scully handles the play-by-play by himself. On Wednesday night, with the Chicago Cubs in San Francisco to play the Giants, ESPN had five announcers on the game — two in the broadcast booth, one in each dugout and one in centre field. I think it’s safe to say that ESPN jumped the shark on that one. . . .

When Taylor Swift played the Staples Center recently, Kobe Bryant presented her with a banner representative of her having the most sold-out shows there. Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent reports: “To show her gratitude, Taylor promised Kobe that she'd write him a song about his bitter breakup with Shaq.” . . . You may have heard that Charlie Sheen has said he wants to be Donald Trump’s running mate. Here’s Littlejohn: “Can you imagine this duo? One's a rambling, reckless, unpredictable manic-depressive loose cannon that's prone to making wild and off-the-wall statements. And the other is Sheen.” . . . Littlejohn noted that actor Jeff Goldblum was in the stands on Saturday as the St. Louis Cardinals played the Giants in San Francisco. Littlejohn also noted that “fielders were understandably nervous when catching Fly balls.” . . .

“According to a report, seven London Marathon winners in 12 years recorded suspicious blood scores,” Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald writes. “Henceforth the London Marathon will be known as ‘The Tour de France Without The Bikes.’ ” . . . Dickson, again: “An Internet rumor that a huge asteroid was barreling toward Earth was refuted by NASA. Wait just a minute. Are you telling me that something that appeared on the World Wide Web could somehow be incorrect?” . . . “Have you heard the radio commercial for a new toilet so strong you can flush a bucket of golf balls down it?” Dickson wonders. “How frustrated are you with your golf game when you require something like this?” . . .

Here’s a note from Ray Ratto of CSNBayArea.com: “Oregon State’s student section has introduced a new logo and, yes, the fact that student sections have logos that their owners feel compelled to announce is one more reason why global warming is real and the sooner it finishes off human life, the better off the other beings will be.” . . . “A Nepalese teen set a world record by kicking himself in the head 134 times,” notes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “Which is well short of how often the Saskatchewan Roughriders have shot themselves in the foot.” . . . One more from Currie: “A friend of mine wants to post selfies of his vasectomy. I told him to try Snipchat.” . . .

“After analyzing the data released by the Ashley Madison hackers, Deadspin reported this week that 101 ESPN employees had accounts on the now-infamous infidelity website,” reports Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “That has to be the highest number among sports executives — which once again proves that ESPN is The Worldwide Leader in Sports.” . . . “Quick,” tweets Larry King, “name all the teams in the Arena Football League.” . . . King also wonders: “What was the best thing before sliced bread?” . . . A tweet from Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen: “Walmart says it will stop selling assault rifles, and will enforce a three-day wait period for tactical nukes.” . . .

You don’t have to be an MMA fan to admire Ronda Rousey’s spunk. The other day, boxer Floyd Mayweather was chirping about making more money than Rousey. She quickly pointed out that she makes more per second. She then added: “When he learns to read and write, he can text me.” . . . BTW, Rousey’s next fight is scheduled for Nov. 14. As Rolfsen points out: “She has a lighter workload than Braden Holtby's backup.” . . . After the IIHF fined Russia $85,000 for disrespecting O Canada at the world hockey championship, Rolfsen reported: “Russia asked if it could pay the IIHF in black market uranium.” . . .

Here’s U.S. President Barack Obama, telling a Nevada Democratic fund-raiser about golfing with former New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter in November: “When we got to the practice range, he was shanking balls everywhere. I said, ‘You play golf, Derek?’ And he said, ‘I just started two weeks ago.’ ” . . . Obama gave Jeter 30 strokes. . . . “We had to take a picture of me handing Derek Jeter money at the end of the game,” Obama said. . . . Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong weighs in on goings-on with the Buffalo Bills: “They still haven’t decided on a starting QB in the competition between Matt Cassel, EJ Manuel and Tyrod Taylor. This is probably why Rex Ryan signed that IK Enemkpali guy.” . . .

A note from Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe: “Three of the top 20 cities in the world with the most Ashley Madison accounts are in Texas — Houston, San Antonio and Dallas. Well, this could get interesting as most of their spouses are likely to be armed.” . . . Hough, again: “Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born to Run’ is celebrating its 40th anniversary. So now they’re riding ‘through the mansions of glory in suicide machines’ with their left blinkers on.’ ” . . . It got out the other day that former receiver Cris Carter, a Hall of Famer, had advised NFL rookies to make sure they had a designated “fall guy” for times of trouble. “Carter apologized for his remarks,” noted comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, “but said it was the idea of his fellow ESPN announcer, Michael Irvin.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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