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Thinking about getting into shape?

Another reason not to go jogging in the morning
May 8, 2016 11:23 P.M.

The Philadelphia Eagles used the No. 2 overall selection in this year’s NFL draft to take quarterback Carson Wentz of North Dakota State. Here’s Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald: “Imagine one day you’re living in laid-back, friendly Fargo, and the next you’re in Philadelphia being booed on your way to breakfast.” . . . A friend sent me this note last week: “I refrain from jogging in the morning because, according to any Law & Order series, there is a 95 per cent chance I’ll find a dead body.” . . .

“The Rolling Stones have told Donald Trump that he cannot use Start It Up at his rallies,” writes William Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent. “They also instructed NFL teams not to use Jumpin' Jack Flash (It's a gas, gas, gas) when Laremy Tunsil takes the field.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Goodell fines Tunsil for not wearing official NFL gas-mask brand. . . .

On Tuesday, with Fort McMurray, Alta., folks fleeing the flames, someone at Camrose radio station 840 CFCW tweeted: “Someone evacuating from Fort Mac said the driver ahead flicked a cigarette butt out of the window.” . . . Seriously! When does the stupidity stop? . . . Oh, that’s right. The same thing has been happening in Kamloops and area since the fires of 2003. . . . After the San Jose Sharks had a potential winning goal disallowed via video review in Game 4 on Thursday night, Torben Rolfsen, the host of The Rolfsen Report on TSN 1049 Vancouver, asked: “Who is in the situation room, Wolf Blitzer?” . . .

Following the recent death of legendary sports columnist Blackie Sherrod, who was 96, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel recalled three of Sherrod’s best lines. . . . 1. On legendary quarterback Bobby Layne’s car accident: “After indulging in some heavy, late-night research with scholarly friends, Bobby was driving back to his hotel, innocently enough, when he was sideswiped by several empty cars lurking at curbside.” . . . 2. On levelling the playing field: “In a perfect world, a fair world, Bob Hayes should be forced to carry a small calf on his shoulder when he runs the dashes, Mark Spitz would swim with a sea anchor and Ella Fitzgerald must sing every note with a mouth full of Tootsie Rolls.” . . . 3. On an unknown tomato can fighter: “He has everything a boxer needs except speed, stamina, a punch, and ability to take punishment. In other words, he owns a pair of shorts.” . . .

“Turinabol, the steroid of East German champions in the 1970s, has popped back up in baseball circles,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Coincidence? A lot more balls are escaping over the wall this season.” . . . Perry, again: “Corpulent Red Sox third baseman Pablo Sandoval underwent season-ending surgery to repair a torn labrum in his left shoulder. But on the bright side, at least it wasn’t his eating arm.” . . . Four of us were walking in downtown Vancouver on Saturday when we heard a commotion coming down Robson Street. It turned out to be the Southsiders, who were on their pre-game march to the Whitecaps game at B.C. Place Stadium. Talk about a whole lot of people having a grand time. . . . It certainly beat the heck out of the much-sparser-attended Free the Weed march that we witnessed a couple of hours later. . . . Along that same line, perhaps it’s time for a Free the Food Trucks march in Kamloops. . . .

“One of my favourite plays in baseball is the called third strike on Jose Bautista,” writes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express. “He acts like he expects umpires to give him close calls.” . . . Another note from Hutchinson: “A tweet from Saskatoon city councillor Darren Hill: ‘Just got a call to sell me a special subscription (to the Saskatoon StarPhoenix). I politely told the young lady NO — not until they start fact-checking.” . . . Ouch! Hutchinson was a long-time StarPhoenix employee before leaving for the Express. . . .

During the NBA first-round series between the Toronto Raptors and Indiana, Pacers media-relations director David Benner tweeted: “Got a call from TMZ today regarding someone named Drake and antics during Game 5. I am 60. Who is Drake? If Simon & Garfunkel act up, call.” . . . “Swiss voters will decide next month whether all of the country’s residents will get a minimum yearly income of roughly Cdn$40,000,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “Or as they call it in the CFL — superstar money.” . . .

“So wait a minute,” tweets Janice Hough, aka the Left Coast Sports Babe, “there are no Canadian teams in the NHL playoffs but one in the NBA playoffs? Hope this isn't a sign of the apocalypse.” . . . According to Hough, the Kentucky Derby is the “perfect sporting event for our time — to give it full attention, the race only requires people to put down phones for two minutes.” . . . One more from Hough: “Lauryn Hill was booed by fans in Atlanta after she showed up two hours late for a concert. She blamed it on her driver getting lost. Gosh, if only someone could think of an invention to solve that kind of problem.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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