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Samurai proves he can hit fastball

She really didn't want to watch the Buccaneers
October 18, 2015 6:48 P.M.

In July 2011, someone asked New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick about NFLer Chad Johnson being on social media. Belichick’s response: “I don’t Twitter, I don’t MyFace, I don’t Yearbook . . . so I’d probably be the last to know.” . . . Last month, someone asked him if he was following a leaked story online. His response: “You should go talk to the geniuses who are online. I don’t know. MyFace, YourFace, InstantFace . . .” . . . Last month, when he noticed a reporter checking his phone, Belichick offered: “What were you, on SnapFace there or whatever you’re talking about?” . . . To which Todd Dewey of the Las Vegas Review-Journal wrote: “After making his ‘SnapFace’ crack, Belichick cut his news conference short to make a call on his rotary phone.” . . . Thanks to Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times for the above compilation. . . .

Headline at SportsPickle.com: Cubs’ 105-year rebuilding plan beginning to bear fruit. . . . While he was watching Game 5 between the visiting Texas Rangers and the Toronto Blue Jays the other day, Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent had a thought: “A title for the seventh inning in Toronto — One Flew Over Shin-Soo Choo's Nest.” . . . One more from Littlejohn: “A Japanese swordsman, dubbed a modern-day Samurai, standing 30 feet from a pitching machine split a 100 mile-per-hour fastball in half. What started out as a fastball ended up being a splitter.” . . .

The Indianapolis Colts earned a second consecutive victory last week when they beat the Houston Texans with backup Matt Hasselback at quarterback, even though he had missed practice and spent some time hooked up to an IV line. Asked if whatever he had was contagious, he said: “No, but I told J.J. Watt that it was.” . . . RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, with a Canadian political note: “Imagining Canada’s main political parties running CFL teams: NDP: Offensive linemen take turns calling plays;  Liberals: The left tackle calls all the plays; Conservatives: Linemen pay the highest taxes, QBs are exempt.” . . .

Blogger TC Chong of Richmond, B.C., is a big NFL fan. He reports that the league is implementing a change: “NFL refs to wear No. 12 at all Seahawks home games.” . . . Someone really needs to tell Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista to drop the hot-dog routine. After all, as Chong points out, “Rule 11.06.12.2 in the Major League Baseball rule book states that you can only admire your home runs if your name is Reggie Jackson.” . . .

Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen with a question regarding Donald Trump: “If Trump does really well on SNL, will he be asked to join the weekly cast?” . . . “Good thing the situation and home field weren't reversed in Game 5 of the Jays-Rangers series,” Rolfsen points out. “At least it was beer cans raining down and not bullets.” . . . You may have heard that New York Knicks head coach Derek Fisher and Matt Barnes of the Memphis Grizzlies had a dustup when the latter found out that the former was dating his ex-wife, Gloria Govan. Here’s Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: “Can’t blame Fisher. Since Barnes is dating other women, Fisher assumed Govan had cleared waivers.” . . .
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The state of Florida has three NFL teams that went into the weekend with a combined 4-10 record. Here’s Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, to the tune of Three Blind Mice:
“Three bad teams; three bad teams; see how they lose; see how they lose;
“They fire their coaches; they miss their kicks;
“Jameis Winston just threw four picks.
“They’re a football version of the New York Knicks;
“Three bad teams …”
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“A Florida woman needed medical treatment after putting Super Glue in her eyes instead of her eyedrops,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “Geez, people will do anything not to watch the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.” . . . Here’s Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald: “According to a Washington Post investigation, (presidential candidate) Donald Trump may cheat at golf. I have never missed Woodward and Bernstein more.” . . . Dickson also reports: “Def Leppard performed at Pinnacle Bank Arena in Lincoln on Sunday night. Good news for attendees: Your hearing should be back by February.” . . .

Pitcher C.C. Sabathia checks into alcohol rehab and the New York Yankees offer up complete support. The Minnesota Wild does the same when assistant coach Darryl Sydor goes into rehab because of an alcohol problem. Meanwhile, in college football, USC head football coach Steve Sarkisian goes into rehab one day and he gets fired the next. . . . I don’t know what it all means but something smells. . . . “A new study found that people who like their coffee black are more likely to be sadistic and psychopathic,” notes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “Well, at least until they get their coffee.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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