With the Denver Broncos having gone 27 consecutive drives without an offensive touchdown, Paul Klee of the Colorado Springs Gazette noted: “What once was a Ferrari now is a Zamboni on grass.” . . . From comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “Donald Trump claims he would have stopped 9/11. Apparently he would have hired the terrorists and then they would have had to declare bankruptcy.” . . . Here’s Kaseberg after he found out that double-amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius, who served less than a year of a five-year sentence for killing his girlfriend, would be released to house arrest with an ankle monitor: “Does anyone else see the flaw in this arrangement?” . . .
Headline at Fark.com: ESPN to cut 350 jobs, reduce Sports Center to 23.5 hours per day. . . . Tiger Woods continues to work his way back from another back surgery, and he is saying that the recovery process will be “long and tedious.” “At least,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post, “he’ll know what it has been like to watch him play a round over the past few years.” . . .
After New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady commented that Coca-Cola is poison, Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong checked with someone close to him for a second opinion. “My personal nutritionist says Brady is absolutely right,” Chong writes, “and tells me to continue adding rum to it.” . . . When the U of Florida chose to hold an open tryout in its search for a place-kicker, the Miami Herald reported that there were 216 applicants. “Of those,” Chong notes, “175 were rejects from the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and Pittsburgh Steelers.” . . . Brady also has been quoted as saying he would like to play until he’s 48 years of age. “It’s hard to imagine,” points out RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, “how Bill Belichick’s hoodie will look by then.” . . .
“Jalen Watts-Jackson — the Michigan State player who picked up the fumbled punt snap and returned it 38 yards to stun Michigan as time expired — broke a hip when his over-exuberant teammates pig-piled on top of him,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “So what if he never had a Heisman shot? His Kendrys Morales Trophy is in the bag.” . . . When I see the attention being paid to Connor McDavid, I have to think that Wayne Gretzky is thanking his lucky stars that there was no social media and not nearly as many 24-hour sports channels with hours to fill when he was playing. . . .
“U.S. authorities this week found a U.S.-Mexico border tunnel stretching the length of eight football fields, from Tijuana to San Diego, with lighting, electricity and a rail system,” reports Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “Sounds like these are the kind of folks Donald Trump might want to build that wall.” . . . Pitchers Matt Harvey (US$614,000) and Jacob deGrom ($556,000) combined to make $1,170,000 from the New York Mets this season. “Together,” notes Hough, “they almost equal the 2015 Mets’ salary of Bobby Bonilla — $1,193,000.” . . . The Mets released Bonilla prior to the 2000 season, but he will continue to be paid through 2035. Seriously! . . . If the Mets win the World Series, he probably will get a ring. . . .
Here’s hoping you have been able to watch at least some of rugby’s World Cup as it has unfolded over the past few weeks. The semifinal game on Saturday between New Zealand and South Africa really was an epic sporting event. . . . Australia beat Argentina in the other semifinal. . . . Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen, in noting that all four World Cup semifinalists were from the southern hemisphere, writes: “ ‘Yee-haw!’ said confused Americans from the southern states, waving Confederate flags in celebration.” . . . If you missed it, Forbes magazine has named Tiger Woods the No. 1 sports brand of 2015. Which brought this reaction from Roflsen: “They also awarded the social media platform of the year to MySpace. Watch for the hula hoop in ’16.” . . .
A North Texas high school team dropped a 91-0 decision the other day, and a parent of a player on the losing team has filed a bullying complaint against the winning team’s head coach. Never mind that said coach began substituting in the first quarter. “Once again,” writes Ray Ratto of CSNBayArea.com, “and I cannot stress this enough, kids sports should be restricted to orphans and feral children.” . . . How big is football in the state of Texas? Here’s Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald on the death of Bevo XIV, the Texas Longhorns’ mascot: “To give you an idea how important football is in Texas, the governor is giving the eulogy.” . . . “Two greyhounds at Bluffs Run racetrack in Iowa have tested positive for PEDs,” notes Dickson. “Under questioning by authorities, one of the dogs said he didn’t ingest anything except regular Purina Dog Chow and water from his home toilet.”
(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at email@example.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)