Here’s Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express after the Saskatchewan Roughriders fired head coach Corey Chamblin: “Another good thing about the Chamblin firing? We won’t have to listen to goofs calling him Chamberlain on post-game radio shows.” . . . Hutchinson, with a valid point: “TSN has five channels. Wouldn’t it be nice if they used them for five different sports events? Or four? TSN took, rightfully, a real beating last week when it didn’t show the Ohio State-Virginia Tech football game. I’m thinking fans in Canada would trade three channels of U.S. Open tennis for one college football game.” . . .
If you attend a Texas A&M Aggies home football game, you can have an Aggie Dog, a four-foot-long, 12-pound hot dog. “Looking for the world’s most overindulgent concession item?” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “We may have a wiener.” Hamilton also points out that “it’s the biggest hot dog at Texas A&M since Johnny Manziel.” . . . TC Chong, a Richmond, B.C., blogger, reports: “The top names people searched after the Ashley Madison database hack: T. Woods, E. Woods, Eldrick T. Woods, Jared Fogle.” . . .
A social note from Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “Two Olympic shot-put medalists — Canada’s Dylan Armstrong and Russia’s Yevgeniya Kolodko — have announced their engagement. If wedding planners get their way, well-wishers will be throwing 16-pound balls instead of rice.” . . . RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com chimed in with: “Olympic shot-putters Dylan Armstrong of Canada and Yevgeniya Kolodko of Russia got engaged. A tip for wedding guests when the bride throws the bouquet: Duck!” . . .
With numerous reports of raw sewage in waters around Rio de Janeiro that are to be used during the 2016 Olympic Summer Games, Ron Judd of the Seattle Times writes: “Emboldened by another large municipality’s defiant refusal to enter the 16th century, residents of Victoria, B.C., (motto: ‘We’re Offal-ly Proud Of Those Baby Orcas!’) continued to enthusiastically flush their daily 20 million gallons of raw sewage into the Strait of Juan de Fuca, God’s Own Toilet, in what can only be construed as a bold bid for the city’s own future Summer Games. Inevitable opening-ceremonies motto: ‘Swifter! Higher! Browner!’ ” . . .
“Florida State football fans with permits can bring guns to games as long as they lock them in their cars,” reports Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent. “That way they'll have them for the post-game traffic jams and tailgate parties.” . . . After Waze Navigation signed New England Patriots party-loving tight end Rob Gronkowski as the voice of its GPS systems, Littlejohn noted: “Customers report, however, that they always seem to end up at a bar or a hospital.” . . . “An Italian chess tournament has kicked out a player for using Morse code to cheat,” Littlejohn adds. “Will they call this Checkmategate?" . . . One more from Littlejohn: “In British Columbia, a photographer stopped by a road and took a picture of a black bear with a blue head. Hmm, maybe this IS the Cubs' year.” . . .
After the court ruled in favour of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady in the Deflategate issue, Jimmy Fallon of NBC-TV noted: “Brady was pretty psyched, but I thought it was a bit much when he dumped a bucket of Gatorade on the judge’s head.” . . . The aforementioned Perry, from the Seattle Times, reports: “A Dunkin’ Donuts in Maine has offered Richard Berman, the judge in the Tom Brady case, free coffee for life. If he accepts it, of course, that’s grounds for appeal.” . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Canada to build wall at U.S. border to keep undesirable players out of CFL. . . .
Bishop’s Vineyard, a new California-based winery, is growing some of its grapes in cemeteries. As Janice Hough, aka the Left Coast Sports Babe, notes: “Guessing the Chardonnay is bone-dry.” . . . In her other life, the LCSB is a travel agent. As such, she was kind enough to share with us the email sent by British Airways to travel agents after a plane caught fire on a runway: “The aircraft, a 777-200, experienced a technical issue as it was preparing for take-off from McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas.” . . .
“James Blake, who was a top-ranked American tennis player for more than a decade, was tackled and handcuffed by five New York City policemen on suspicion of being part of an identity theft ring,” writes Ray Ratto of CSNBayarea.com. “After 15 minutes, someone thought to check his identification and let him go. One of the five policemen apologized, for which he gets full marks, because mistakes go down easier when acknowledged. The others either couldn’t be bothered or were heading back to Arthur Ashe Stadium to see if they could link Serena Williams to a group of counterfeiters.” . . . I’m thinking it would take more than five policemen to take down Serena. . . .
Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen reports that the Chicago Blackhawks “have tried trading Patrick Kane, but so far the only serious interest has been from Game of Thrones.” . . . One more from Rolfsen, referring to Thursday’s NFL opener which was played host to by the Patriots: “The Pittsburgh Steelers were so paranoid about using the visiting locker room in Gillette Stadium they rented a bouncy castle instead.” . . . Here’s Seth Meyers of NBC-TV, after President Obama said he would be reverting Mount McKinley’s name to Mount Denali, its original native name: “Because it turns out it’s easier to rename a mountain than a football team.”
(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at firstname.lastname@example.org and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)