NFL veteran Antonio Cromartie, these days a cornerback with the New York Jets, has 10 children. “Now comes word that his wife is expecting twins, even though Cromartie has had a vasectomy,” writes Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post. “So much for him being a shutdown corner.” . . . You may recall reading here last time that the ECHL’s Toledo Walleye is to salute Don Cherry by wearing special sweaters in a game on Jan. 23. Hamilton also reports: “To further honour Cherry, Toledo is expected to scratch all of its European players that night.” . . .
“Buffalo head coach Rex Ryan is sorry he couldn’t come through with his promise of taking the Bills to the NFL playoffs,” Richmond, B.C., blogger Tony Chong reports. “He said he tried to get 53 tickets to the Pats/Chiefs game or Carolina vs. Seattle but none were available.” . . . One more from Chong: “Khloe Kardasian was on a New York bound American Airlines jet this week that made an emergency landing in Las Vegas. ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’ said Johnny Manziel.” . . . Chong again: “There were three winning tickets sold in the U.S. Powerball Lottery. The $1.6-billion prize will be split three ways, with each winner getting $528M each. Those three lucky winners now can each afford to buy a house in Vancouver.” . . .
Headline at TheOnion.com: Peyton Manning’s 14-foot-tall wife crushes skull of sports journalist asking about HGH. . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: NCAA awards Alabama players their $0.00 championship bonus. . . . Larry Brooks, in the New York Post, writing about the NHL’s 3-on-3 all-star weekend and the omission of Sidney Crosby: “Great for Nicklas Backstrom that he can play three-on-three with his linemate Alex Ovechkin, but would it not have piqued some intrigue to have had No. 87 and No. 8 together as a forward unit? Wayne Gretzky with Mario Lemieux? Nah, let’s watch Gretzky and Jari Kurri, like we do every game.” . . . You really didn’t think that John Scott would get to play in Gary Bettman’s 3-on-3 shinny tournament, did you? . . .
The Roanoke Rail Yard Dawgs are to begin play in the Southern Professional Hockey League next season. When I noticed the team’s nickname, it got me to wondering: When the owners of the Kamloops Blazers chose to drop the city’s name from their logo, why didn’t they go all-in and change the nickname to Rail Yard Dawgs? . . . That would go well with the late-game public address announcements warning people when they leave the arena not to cross the tracks when the arms are down and the lights are flashing. . . .
The Austin Business Journal has reported that the U of Texas almost doubled revenue to US$1.8 million from concessions for its six home football games in 2015 because it sold beer for the first time. As Jack Finarelli, aka The Sports Curmudgeon, points out: “That is a lot of suds considering that a significant fraction of the fans in attendance are not — you know — legally allowed to purchase, possess or consume beer.” . . . Another headline from TheOnion.com (as prophesied in 2005): NFL to move all 32 teams to Los Angeles. . . .
“A Nebraska man is unhappy with the way he was portrayed on the TV show Naked and Afraid,” reports Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “I’m thinking that if you sign up to appear on Naked and Afraid, you have to figure it may not be the most flattering portrayal. The show isn’t called Handsome and Brilliant.” . . . One more from Dickson: “A 2,000-person brawl broke out recently at a shopping mall in Kentucky. On Black Friday this would be considered a ‘mild disturbance.’ At the bottom of the brawl, a person was found clutching the discounted hand towel that started the whole thing.” . . . There was an ugly incident during the Pittsburgh Steelers’ victory over the Cincinnati Bengals in an NFL playoff game two weekends ago. It seems a Bengals fan punched a fan who was seated in front of him and then urinated on him. As Dickson noted: “This is still better than the kiss cam.” . . .
Linebacker Von Miller of the Denver Broncos got ill after eating mozzarella sticks while watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens. As he told reporters: “Can’t put regular gas in a Ferrari. I learned that.” . . . After the San Francisco 49ers hired former Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly and signed him to a US$24-million, four-year deal, Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, wrote: “So that likely works out to about $12 million a year.” . . .
“The San Francisco 49ers fired head coach Jim Tomsula one year into a five-year, US14-million contract,” notes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “Call it an emergency Tomsulectomy.” . . . “What do you call ex-Eagles coach Chip Kelly landing a job in the Bay Area?” wonders Currie. “Chip ahoy!” . . . One more from Currie: “Former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson has endorsed Donald Trump. Maybe Iron Mike is hoping to one day have the president’s ear.”
(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at email@example.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)