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Cowboys could use 'Stone Cold' quarterback

Giants defensive end not pointing fingers
November 15, 2015 5:09 P.M.

What if the NFL were to put a team in Moscow? Here’s reader Tony Supan, in the Cleveland Plain Dealer: “Deflategate will seem trivial compared to what Putin and his boys will do to win. Remember, he already has one Super Bowl ring.” . . . Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg makes a point: “So between all the pink-gear support for breast-cancer awareness and then the players’ union’s defence of Dallas’s Greg Hardy, I take it the NFL stance is somewhere around: ‘It’s OK to beat women; they just don’t want them to get cancer’?” . . . Cam Newton, the Carolina Panthers’ quarterback, was in the headlines last weekend after he tore down a pro-Green Bay Packers banner before a game. As he explained to the Fayetteville Observer: “You’re not about to sit up here and sell a Whopper at a McDonald’s.” . . .

The New York Giants had defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul in the lineup last Sunday for the first time since he suffered a horrid hand injury during a July 4 fireworks mishap. “Good to see Jason Pierre-Paul back in action with the Giants,” Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle noted. “Also good that he’s accepting responsibility for what happened, not pointing any fingers.” . . . Last weekend, you may have noticed NFL coaches wearing different gear. Here’s Ray Ratto of CSNBayArea.com: “In many countries, NFL coaches wearing faux military clothes to call in plays and yell at officials would be jailed for disrespecting the costume. Fortunately we don’t live in one of those places. Even more fortunately, we do live in a place where I can say, ‘You all look like your parents shop at cut-rate Halloween stores. You’re not soldiers, so stop it. You look ridiculous. That is, unless you’re all planning to dress up as nurses in two weeks. I mean, they serve too, don't they?’ ” . . .

“At a Florida golf course,” reports Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent, “an alligator devoured a python. And you thought Tiger Woods can be grouchy on a golf course.” . . . “Quarterback Blake Bortles says that his Jacksonville Jaguars are a 'small step' from contending,” Littlejohn writes. “Well, remember, it took a decade and billions for Neil Armstrong's 'small step.’ ” . . . Here’s Littlejohn, again: “A referee halted the college football game between Toledo and Central Michigan to tell the band and the cheerleaders to be quiet. What's his next trick, parting the Red Sea?” . . .

Here’s Jack Finarelli, aka The Sports Curmudgeon, on the 2-7 Detroit Lions: “In 2009, the U.S. Government bailed out General Motors when the company was about to go belly-up. Well, the Lions are going paws-up this year and could use a bailout. Unfortunately, the Lions are owned by the Fords not the General Motors.” . . . Headline at TheOnion.com: Bulls players annoyed by Derrick Rose always leaving torn ligaments all over locker room. . . . The Cleveland Browns introduced a new app and fan Michael Seese quickly acquired it. As he told the Cleveland Plain Dealer, “I downloaded the Browns app Saturday, and Sunday my phone began dropping calls.” . . .

Prior to last weekend’s action, pro rassler ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin said he would quarterback the Dallas Cowboys until the return of the injured Tony Romo. “With his WWE background,” Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post wrote, “Austin certainly would know about play fakes.” . . . More from Hamilton: “In reality, Russian President Vladimir Putin may be to blame for the WADA investigation into the Russian track and field team. No one would have suspected a steroid problem in Russia if Vlad the Inhaler had kept his shirt on in all those pictures.” . . . “The 12-carat ‘Blue Moon’ diamond sold at auction Wednesday for US$48.5 million,” reports Hamilton. “OK, what’d Kobe Bryant do this time?” . . . “Kansas City Royals second baseman Ben Zobrist and his wife named their new baby girl Blaise Royal,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “One day she’ll look back and thank her lucky stars Dad wasn’t playing for the Jays, Rays or A’s.” . . .

According to Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong, “CBC News reports that Sony will stop making BetaMax video tape as of next year. Their R&D technicians will focus on producing film for Polaroid cameras instead.” . . . “The VW emissions scandal has spread to Porsche,” notes Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “When reached for comment, Porsche drivers were too busy with their combovers to respond.” . . . “American Pharoah will command a $200,000 stud fee and, according to ESPN’s Darren Rovell, could easily do 200 bookings in five months,” reports Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Pass the Neighagra.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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