Cleveland in the CFL playoffs? Why not?

Lidstrom was a special kind of player
November 8, 2015 10:17 P.M.

If you haven’t heard, the Chinese Communist Party has banned golf, excessive drinking and adultery. As comedy writer Alex Kaseberg notes: “In a related story, plans for the Tiger Woods Beijing Country Club have been canceled.” . . . Actor Vin Diesel has a seven-year-old daughter who is learning judo from Ronda Rousey. As he told the World Entertainment News Network: “I’m dealing with it early. I’m creating a beast, and I want her to be able to say, ‘No means no.’ ” . . . Headline at Fark.com: Kansas City Royals’ World Series celebration marred by no arrests or property damage. . . .

“Rasslin’ star Triple H sent the Kansas City Royals a WWE-style championship belt to commemorate their World Series win,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “What, you thought he’d send them a ring?” . . . Perry also poses this question: “Who’s announced more GM recalls in Detroit this century — the auto maker or the NFL team?” . . . Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, for one, wasn’t at all surprised that the Detroit Lions started cleaning out their front office. “After all,” he pointed out, “it is their bye-bye week.” . . .

The NHL held its Hall of Fame game on Friday with the Detroit Red Wings in Toronto to play the Maple Leafs. The game was a regional telecast, available only in central, northern and southern Ontario. Is there any other pro league that would hide its Hall of Fame game in such a fashion? . . . If you aren’t aware, the U of Louisville men’s basketball team has become enveloped in something of a sex scandal. As Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald put it: “I just hope being linked to big-time college athletics doesn’t harm the reputation of the escort-stripper business.” . . .

Bill Littlejohn, our man in South Lake Tahoe, Calif., writes: “Creed, the latest Rocky instalment that follows the relationship between Apollo Creed's son and Rocky, opens on Thanksgiving. Along with the New York and Hollywood premieres, Russian President Putin, in a gesture that finally forgives his loss to Rocky, will grant a full pardon and release for Ivan Drago from a Siberian labour camp.” . . . Littlejohn, again: “Leaving Matt Harvey in to pitch the ninth was Terry Collins' fault, just a little — as in Grady Little.” . . . A study has shown that of all NFL stadiums the highest wind gusts hit Gillette Stadium, the home of the New England Patriots. “With all the lawyers they’ve needed,” Littlejohn notes, “is this a surprise to anyone?” . . .

Another study has claimed “that drinking two Diet Cokes a day can damage your heart,” comedy writer Tim Hunter reports. “Good thing I don’t stop at two.” . . . “Whenever I start thinking Kent Austin can’t be a bigger jerk, he is a bigger jerk,” writes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, in reference to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats head coach and his post-game performance last weekend. Austin’s performance is more proof that you can’t change the stripes on a tiger-cat. . . . At the age of 20, Lexi Thompson has won six LPGA events. As Greg Cote of the Miami Herald notes: “My biggest accomplishment at 20 was figuring out that if you rocked a vending machine, an extra bag of chips might fall.” . . .

“I will never forget watching Wrestlemania 3 when Hulk Hogan pinned Bartolo Colon,” tweets Bill Simmons (@BillSimmons). . . . So have you seen the Connor McDavid collision with the boards often enough to suit you? . . . Connor McDavid? Oh, you weren’t aware that he broke a clavicle, had surgery and his career is over? Oh, his career isn’t over. Maybe there was just some over-reaction from the Sportsnet gang that has far too much time to kill. . . .

A study based on an analysis of breathalyzer tests has found that the drunkest football fans can be found in Buffalo, Detroit and Philadelphia. Hold on, writes Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong: “The CFL would like to throw a challenge flag on this claim. No fans of those teams drink nearly enough to wear watermelons on their heads.” . . . Despite what you may have heard, Chong writes, “The Cleveland Browns still have a hope of making the playoffs, if they can win their next two games and are able to cross over to the CFL East.” . . .

Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun, on retired defenceman Nicklas Lindstrom, who will be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame on Monday: “Lidstrom spent 20 seasons with the Red Wings and in that time the club never missed the playoffs, and averaged — yes, averaged — 108 points a season. By a Toronto comparison, no Leafs team has ever had 108 points in any season. The best Toronto season in the NHL has been 103 points. Lidstrom’s Red Wings were better than that 11 different times. . . . One more from Simmons: “I’m thrilled the Leafs’ Corsi Close has improved to sixth in the NHL and that they’re playing ‘the right way.’ I’d be more impressed if they weren’t 28th in goals-for, 27th in goals-against, 24th on the power play, 22nd on the penalty kill and last in the NHL in wins.” . . .

You may have heard Toronto Maple Leafs head coach Mike Babcock talking the other day about how hockey’s goals are too small. Were they larger, Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen points out, “Just think how many goals the Leafs would give up then.” . . . “LeBron James reportedly doesn’t like sleeved jerseys,” notes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “I’m pretty sure he’d feel differently if he had my shoulders.” . . . “The Rockefeller Center Christmas tree was put into place Friday in New York,” writes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, “where the temperature was 75 degrees. Maybe instead of a Norwegian spruce they should have ordered a palm tree?”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

Leave a Reply

Emails will not be published