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Chiefs coach knows taste of perfect play

That was some Segway by Bolt
September 6, 2015 10:07 P.M.
When is a cheeseburger like a perfect play in football?

If you’ve watched the Chicago Cubs this season, you will have noticed the youth on their roster. How young are the Cubbies? Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel writes: “These Cubs are so young, they think manager Joe Maddon invented the football video game.” . . . The Pittsburgh Steelers signed quarterback Michael Vick on what happened to be National Dog Day. “The only thing that could have been worse,” wrote Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, “is if the Vikings had welcomed Adrian Peterson back on Father’s Day.” . . .
With the NFL’s decision to move Super Bowl Media Day to primetime in an attempt to turn it into some kind of TV extravaganza, Jack Finarelli, aka The Sports Curmudgeon, notes: “Executives in companies often make monumental blunders. I would hope this is a blunder for the NFL similar in magnitude to the blunders that produced the Edsel and New Coke.” . . . If you are among the howlers who think NFL commissioner Roger Goodell should, or will, lose his job over Deflategate, sorry, but it won’t happen. Those who run the major sports leagues these days are judged by revenues. Goodell’s NFL is expecting revenues to reach $11 billion this season and at least $12 billion in 2016. . . . In other words, Goodell isn’t going anywhere. . . .
ICYMI, Canada’s Shawn Barber won the men’s pole vault championship at the recent world track and field championships. As RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com noted: “It’s easy to spot Barber: His pole has red and white stripes.” . . . The FIBA Americas men’s basketball championship is being held in Mexico City these days, with two spots in the 2016 Olympic Summer Games in Rio up for grabs. Boston Celtics centre Kelly Olynyk, who is from Kamloops, is there with Canada, while Kamloops lawyer Steve Seibel is there with his striped shirt and whistle. Seibel is an international-calibre referee; if there is a major tournament being played, chances are he’s there. . . .
Bill Littlejohn, our correspondent in South Lake Tahoe, Calif., emailed Thursday to report that “Vindicated! billboards are popping up around Boston. Let's just hope Jose Canseco doesn't convince Tom Brady to write a book about it.” . . . Littlejohn also noted that “a lost sheep in Australia yielded 89 pounds of shorn wool. In fact, there was so much wool that three NFL general managers showed up to help fleece it.” . . . Here’s Littlejohn, again: “Marshawn Lynch helped do an ad for Skittles on the Home Shopping Network, thus providing an answer for former network host Joan Rivers' trademark question: 'Can We Talk?’ “ . . .
In a 10-year deal, Alaska Airlines has paid US$41 million for the naming rights to the football stadium at the U of Washington. The stadium is to be called Alaska Airlines Field at Husky Stadium. . . . In Kamloops, meanwhile, terms have yet to be released for the 10-year naming rights deal that turned the city-owned arena from Interior Savings Centre into the Sandman Centre. . . . Here’s Ron Judd of the Seattle Times: “It’s difficult to imagine a local charitable organization more deserving of this largesse than the poverty-stricken University of Washington Athletic Department, where assistant football coaches barely earn more than a lunchroom full of public school teachers these days.” . . .
“A professional video game league is now testing for PEDs,” reports Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “What hope is there of baseball and football players being clean when gamers are juicing?” . . . Dickson adds: “According to a new study, more people are killed by cows than sharks. If ‘Jaws’ had featured cows, it wouldn’t have been half the success it was.” . . . “New York Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia says a picture of him with what appears to be a joint was just him smoking a cigar on an Atlanta hotel balcony,” writes Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “He also denies rumors he has asked to be traded to the Rockies or Mariners.” . . .
The news that Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger had visited Splitsville was seen to be so important that The Canadian Press hit it with an URGENT slug. That was on Wednesday when the big news in Kamloops was that shot-putting Olympian Dylan Armstrong, 34, is engaged to Russian Yevgeniya Kolodko, 25, who also is a shot putter. . . . Andy Reid, the hefty head coach of the NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs, has told the Kansas City Star exactly how he feels when he sends in what turns out to be a perfect play call. “That’s a pretty good feeling,” Reid told the newspaper. “That’s like a good cheeseburger.” . . .
“What’s the one thing you don’t say to Usain Bolt when he changes the subject?” asks Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. The answer: “Nice Segway.” . . . College football’s Tennessee Volunteers are “the Kardashians of the SEC,” writes Pat Dooley of the Gainesville, Fla., Sun. “They look good, but they haven’t done anything.” . . . An assistant football coach at Centre College in Danville, Ky., allowed himself to be Tasered, all in the interest of team unity, of course. “It worked,” Greg Cote of the Miami Herald wrote, “as afterward players unanimously agreed the coach was an idiot.” . . .
“The Harlem Globetrotters are disbanding their stooge team, the Washington Generals,” writes Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. “Those guys really aren’t qualified for any other occupation, except playing for the Sacramento Kings. With the breakup of the Washington Generals, Colin Powell and David Petraeus are free agents.” . . . A bewildered Ostler wonders: “If something is off the charts — like a player’s work ethic or a team’s performance — shouldn’t the charts be expanded?”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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