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Bailey keeping us informed on Twitter

Johnny Football doesn't merit Edsel status
March 14, 2016 4:02 P.M.

As you may have heard, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was welcomed to the White House last week by President Barack Obama. “Previously, to be invited inside the White House,” notes Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen, “a Canadian had to be a member of the Blackhawks or Kings.” . . . “NFL commissioner Roger Goodell got paid $34.1 million in 2015 — down $1 million from the previous year,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “Goodell, simply out of habit, blamed it on deflation.” . . . Perry also reports that “the Florida Marlins and Atlanta Braves will play their July 3 game at Fort Bragg, N.C. The pitchers, understandably, are worried about getting shelled.” . . .

“A knife has been found buried on O.J. Simpson's former property,” writes Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald. “O.J. could say it was a Thanksgiving tradition in the Simpson family to bury their knives after dinner and the original O.J. jury would buy it.” . . . Perhaps you are aware that Nickelodeon has chosen New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, he of party hardy fame, to be the host of a new children’s show. As Dickson wondered: “Was Hugh Hefner unavailable?” . . .

Here’s one from comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “Astronaut Scott Kelly returned after a year in space to find Madonna on tour, a Clinton running for president and the police testing OJ Simpson’s knife, and he said: ‘Stop screwing around. What year is it really?’ ” . . . Headline at Fark.com: Goose Gossage to Jose Bautista: ‘Quit flipping your bat on my lawn’ . . . Here is why Twitter is such an indispensable part of life. Late Sunday night, Mike McIntyre, the Winnipeg Free Press’ justice reporter, tweeted: “To folks still awake, the Los Angeles Kings team mascot (@BaileyLAKings) is currently live-tweeting a police chase of a stolen cop car.” . . . Seriously. . . .

Johnny Gaudreau of the Calgary Flames scored two goals in 10 seconds on Wednesday night. You would have thought head coach Bob Hartley would have left Gaudreau on the ice to give him a shot at Max Bentley’s much-ballyhooed record of three goals in 21 seconds from March 23, 1952. But, no, Hartley wouldn’t do it. He likely doesn’t believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, either. . . . Talk about overdoing a good thing. It looks as though the NHL will have at least four outdoor games next season — Edmonton at Winnipeg, Detroit at Toronto, Philadelphia at Pittsburgh and Chicago at St. Louis. . . . The Cleveland Browns released quarterback Johnny Manziel last week, after just two seasons. Still, Bud Shaw of the Cleveland Plain Dealer won’t refer to Manziel as the Edsel of NFL draft picks. As Shaw points out: “Let’s be fair. The Edsel lasted three years.” . . .

“Los Angeles is set to open the Museum of Broken Relationships,” reports Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent. “I can’t wait to see the Shaq-Kobe exhibit.” . . . Littlejohn, again: “President Obama trolled Canadian PM Justin Trudeau over the country's Stanley Cup drought. A Cubs fan trolling someone on a title drought?” . . . One more from Littlejohn: “The Minnesota Vikings’ new stadium runs alongside a street named Chicago Avenue. Isn't that kind of like having Kim Jong Un Way in downtown Seoul?” . . .

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, after PGA Tour caddies lost their lawsuit seeking compensation for having to wear bibs with advertising: “Dear fellas: Your job consists of carrying a golf bag, telling your guy, ‘178 yards’ and collecting up to 10 percent of his earnings for doing very little. Quiet, please!” . . . “A sad farewell to flamboyant tennis analyst Bud Collins, dead at age 86,” writes RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “Perhaps the only guy who could call Norwegian men’s curling pants bland.” . . . Currie, again: “Maria Sharapova announced she failed a doping test at the Australian Open. You don’t need to be a nun to ask: How do you solve a problem like Maria’s?” . . .

Some news from Ian Hamilton of the Regina Leader-Post: “A Massachusetts seventh-grader won top prize at his school’s science fair with a project that disproved Deflategate. The 12-year-old exposed an inflated football to weather conditions that included snow and cold, and the pressure inside the ball dropped to the same levels as were recorded during the scandal. The project no doubt got an A+ from a certain Mr. Brady … The most ironic part of that story? The student’s name is Ben Goodell. No, he isn’t related to the NFL commissioner.” . . . Here’s Hamilton, again: “Philadelphia Flyers fan Anne Duggan, 80, threw a bra on the ice after Brayden Schenn recorded a hat trick in a recent game. Schenn could have done without her support.” . . .

Here’s Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe, with a TV note: “So DWTS has announced its latest cast of wannabes and has-beens for this season, and wait . . . Doug Flutie? Okay, what time is that show on?” . . . Hough, again: “Trudeau-Obama press conference Thursday in Washington. Two politicians together at lecterns who weren’t screaming at each other. Well, where’s the fun in that?” . . . Hough is rolling: “Former Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling and his wife Shelley, who have been married 60 years, have apparently called off their divorce proceedings. Maybe they couldn’t remember why they were getting divorced in the first place?” . . . President Obama’s approval rating is at 50 per cent, its highest point in three years. As Hough puts it: “Guess it’s beginning to dawn on Americans that one of these people they are watching debate is actually going to be their next president.”

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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