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Americans about to get new TV channel

Alligator vs. python: Who won?
December 6, 2015 11:20 A.M.

The San Diego Padres unveiled their new 2016 uniforms the other day, after which blogger Chad Picasner wrote: “It won’t help; they’ll still be recognized.” . . . At one point last week, forward John Scott of the Arizona Coyotes, with five career goals, was leading the NHL’s online all-star voting, while Florida Panthers forward Jaromir Jagr, a first-ballot Hall of Famer when the time comes, was asking fans not to vote for him. Which tells you all you need to know about the NHL’s move to a 3-on-3 all-star format. . . . This was Jagr’s tweet: “Fans-I appreciate your votes for All-Star game, but 3 on 3 would kill me, and i don't want to die yet:) Thank you for understanding. Too old:)” . . .

By now you will be aware that Wally Buono, the general manager of B.C.’s CFL franchise, has returned from on high to take over, again, as head coach. I would suggest that Ed Willes of the Vancouver Province summed things up rather well: “The Leos will have their third head coach in three years and their fourth offensive co-ordinator in four years with the news that George Cortez won’t be returning. This isn’t exactly the template for success. It represents, in fact, the institutionalized chaos (that) has plagued other CFL teams but was never supposed to happen under Buono’s watch. Now, the great man has to step in and clean up a mess he played a role in making. All of which raises the question, does he still have the game to do it?” . . . You are left to wonder if Buono the GM will be looking over the shoulder of Buono the head coach the way he did with the last two head coaches? . . .

Last weekend’s Grey Cup game was hardly over when Michael Farber of Sports Illustrated summed things up this way: “21st century Grey Cup; turns on video slow mo. Something's gained. Wonder if something is lost in the process.” . . . Dwight Perry, in the Seattle Times: “And you thought Kobe Bryant was having trouble hitting a shot? When Portland Timbers defender Nat Borchers scored in stoppage time against FC Dallas on Nov. 22, it was his first MLS playoff goal in 12 years and 18 days.” . . . One more from Perry: “An alligator and a python got into a fight to the death at The Golf Club at Fiddler’s Creek Golf near Naples, Fla. As for who won, well, let’s just say the gator’s now walking around in snakeskin golf shoes.” . . .

A new home shopping channel is to launch in the Excited States next month. Gun TV will be dedicated to, yes, guns and accessories, and doesn’t that just say it all about our neighbours to the south. . . . There is no truth to the rumour that Beer TV is debuting in Canada at about the same time. . . . Headline at SportsPickle.com: Browns reinstate Johnny Manziel after he reveals champagne video is from future Super Bowl title celebration. . . . Mark Whicker of the Los Angeles News Group, with a tweet: “If this idiot Manziel wanted to be an NFL QB half as much as everybody else wants him to be, he'd be in the Pro Bowl by now.” . . .

“According to a PNC Wealth Management analysis, the price of '12 Days of Christmas' gifts has risen to US$34,130.99,” Bill Littlejohn, our South Lake Tahoe, Calif., correspondent, wrote in mid-week. “Expect that to rise after Zack Greinke signs.” . . . “Wladimir Klitschko wants a rematch with Tyson Fury,” Littlejohn reports. “Fury says, 'Beat Ronda Rousey first.’ ” . . . Should the NFL’s Cleveland Browns choose to jettison Johnny Football, Littlejohn reports that “potential landing spots for Johnny Manziel include Dallas, San Francisco, Philadelphia, St. Louis and Promises in Malibu.” . . .

“So who figured the Carolina Panthers would be the last undefeated team in the NFL?” asks Janice Hough, aka The Left Coast Sports Babe. “Now all of you liars put your hands down.” . . . Here’s Hough, again: “A new test by The Associated Press shows that waters around Rio are dangerously polluted, in areas where they will do sailing, canoeing and rowing events. One thing for sure, this Olympics won’t have winning coxswains thrown into the water. . . . Russian President Vladimir Putin, on the other hand, may have new motivation for Russian coxswains to make sure their crews do not lose.” . . .

“Beijing had record-breaking smog up to 35 times above safety levels,” reports RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com. “It was so bad, even Yao Ming couldn’t see where he was going.” . . . “When Daniel Sedin scored a hat trick during a recent Vancouver Canucks home game,” Richmond, B.C., blogger TC Chong scribbles, “only one hat was tossed onto the ice. It appears that Canucks fans value their lids more than Leafs fans care about their sweaters.” . . . Here’s Chong on the Denver Broncos’ quarterback situation: “Peyton Manning has ‘unfriended’ Brock Osweiler on Facebook.” . . .

A man in Lincoln, Neb., has started a magazine about prison convicts. Here’s Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald: “We already have that, it’s called Sports Illustrated.” . . . In the end, it all came down to money and term with left-hander David Price, who left the Toronto Blue Jays for the Boston Red Sox (and US$217 million over seven years) on Tuesday. I hope you weren’t surprised. . . . It’s always about “SHOW ME THE MONEY!” . . . I don’t know how much money you make per day, but Price will pull in $85,000 every 24 hours for the length of the contract, if he doesn’t opt out after three years. . . . Think about that while you are out Christmas shopping today.

(Gregg Drinnan is a former sports editor of the Regina Leader-Post and the late Kamloops Daily News. He is at greggdrinnan@gmail.com and twitter.com/gdrinnan. Keeping Score appears here on weekends, except when it doesn’t.)

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